when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
