I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
