Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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