I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
bring money and cleavage
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
