her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
