when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
