he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
