Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
