i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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