Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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