I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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