Now he's lighting his socks on fire
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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