Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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