How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
