well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
