Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
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Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize