Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
