You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
