have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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