It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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