The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
