Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
