There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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