Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
