their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
