What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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