summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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