I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
