This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
