it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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