You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
