God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The power of my boobs compel you
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
