a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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