my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.