Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?