Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series

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  (510): I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series http://tfl.nu/wka4
  Replies (95) Good night (1157) Bad night (3640)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

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  (904): the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants http://tfl.nu/u4r0
  Replies (7) Good night (5997) Bad night (707)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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  (573): I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn. http://tfl.nu/8enu
  Replies (13) Good night (886) Bad night (4080)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.

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  (512): that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people. http://tfl.nu/5ebd
  Replies (9) Good night (3600) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"

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  (802): What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow" http://tfl.nu/01bq
  Replies (32) Good night (4160) Bad night (1804)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  my head hurts. i need an adult

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult

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  (225): my head hurts. i need an adult (225): and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult http://tfl.nu/wl1h
  Replies (4) Good night (2019) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?

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  (848): You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself? http://tfl.nu/hc7l
  Replies (5) Good night (1719) Bad night (979)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  I'm not even gonna ask.

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  (406): Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you. (1-406): I'm not even gonna ask. http://tfl.nu/42tt
  Replies (2) Good night (832) Bad night (590)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

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  (720): So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together. http://tfl.nu/i6go
  Replies (12) Good night (2082) Bad night (882)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?

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  (704): How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic? http://tfl.nu/83e0
  Replies (6) Good night (618) Bad night (1224)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have

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  (215): You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have http://tfl.nu/bm9z
  Replies (6) Good night (563) Bad night (1544)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.

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  (812): Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes. http://tfl.nu/kd9i
  Replies (6) Good night (756) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on

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  (701): I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on http://tfl.nu/r00x
  Replies (2) Good night (1123) Bad night (362)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night

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  (860): I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night http://tfl.nu/320l
  Replies (2) Good night (329) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock

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  (281): she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock http://tfl.nu/7pjf
  Replies (1) Good night (454) Bad night (271)

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