You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.