whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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