Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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  (828): can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later. (919): wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here! (828): i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa. http://tfl.nu/e72d
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (828)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Non-Jews are for practice

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  (617): Non-Jews are for practice http://tfl.nu/ikoa
  Replies (27) Good night (1223) Bad night (607)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?

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  (802): Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit? http://tfl.nu/yu0u
  Replies (26) Good night (4153) Bad night (1320)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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  (613): You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon.. http://tfl.nu/gnh9
  Replies (16) Good night (711) Bad night (5170)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...

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  (713): You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong... http://tfl.nu/oapp
  Replies (30) Good night (4345) Bad night (592)
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  (516): View more from New York

  please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.

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  (516): please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself. http://tfl.nu/xysw
  Replies (6) Good night (678) Bad night (4470)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?

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  (517): My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school? http://tfl.nu/rw32
  Replies (62) Good night (880) Bad night (4211)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing

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  (201): he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing http://tfl.nu/t0vu
  Replies (51) Good night (1310) Bad night (5393)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.

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  (818): I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got. http://tfl.nu/vmp4
  Replies (27) Good night (1710) Bad night (5693)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?

  (516): View more from New York

  you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."

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  (631): woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain? (516): you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food." http://tfl.nu/33sl
  Replies (67) Good night (11611) Bad night (1334)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.

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  (205): Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit. http://tfl.nu/78iu
  Replies (9) Good night (957) Bad night (3871)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".

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  (205): That's why they call him "the cheesegrater". http://tfl.nu/ctav
  Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (3628)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words

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  (810): Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words http://tfl.nu/8a38
  Replies (9) Good night (3520) Bad night (1132)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.

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  (513): Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough. http://tfl.nu/b714
  Replies (4) Good night (454) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.

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  (617): Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/vcwg
  Replies (23) Good night (573) Bad night (492)

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