I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
