I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
