I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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