after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I enjoy the company of your penis
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
