If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
