worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize