Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
