just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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