clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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