Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
