so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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