so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I will be naked everywhere
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
