I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
