so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
