batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
