my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
