I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is my gift to your gina
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
