i need an iv and a liver transplant
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
