something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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