just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
