Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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