I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
