Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dick very happy bro
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
His nipple licking is glorious
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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