Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
