Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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