Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
