sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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