How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
