69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
