This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize