Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
