my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I skipped work to stalk him.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
