I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
