I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
