Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
