I wish I could teleport
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
