Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
