my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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