She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
