Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
