he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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