I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
