you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
