Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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